


The Run and Go

by Ravencharming_The_Ultimate_Fangirl



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Based on a Fall Out Boy Song, Based on a My Chemical Romance Song, Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, Based on a Zara Larsson song, F/M, I'm an evil person btw, based on a one republic song, i'm not good at tagging stuff, mentions anti depressants, oh well, rated for themes, read with caution, so trigger warning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 05:05:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11616483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravencharming_The_Ultimate_Fangirl/pseuds/Ravencharming_The_Ultimate_Fangirl
Summary: Adrienette angst. Read with caution.





	The Run and Go

Adrien sighed as he looked up at the sky, his eyes slightly glossed over. It was a clear night, the stars in the sky as bright as the lights he used to put up on the christmas tree with his mother.

The show was said to start in 30 minutes. As a result, loud chatter could be heard amongst the park. Mostly friends joking around and people speculating how the fireworks would look.

Adrien almost shivered at the cool breeze that hit his exposed skin. Traditionally, it was hot in America around this time of year, so the cool breeze was unexpected.

Nonetheless, it felt good, the breeze helping Adrien cool down.

He was really curious about this holiday, specifically the people celebrating it. Were they even aware what this holiday is about? Did they even stop their giggling and eating to honor the independence of their country and the late soldiers who contributed to it?

He scoffed, clicking his tongue. He doubted it.

Then again, he was no different. Most people didn't really think about the purpose behind important things. They didn't think about anything or anyone besides what they want and themselves.

It was just human nature.

He looked around the park. He could see all of his fellow classmates that had come for their final get together before parting their ways. Alix. Kim. Nino. Alya.

Marinette.

She was with Rose and Juleka, a smile on her face, eagerly looking up at the sky.

Her raven hair was loose, framing her face nicely, her cerulean eyes almost glowing in contrast.

Adrien flinched away, not wanting to make eye contact with her. Or anyone in that matter.

Adrien was lucky his father had let him come to America. Usually, Gabriel would have denied the request, but seeing as his son seemed to be a bit down, he thought a new environment would be mood lifting.

It wasn't.

Adrien had been off for the past few months. He looked almost exactly same, talked the same, but there was something about him that was wrong, almost like he had lost an important part of his identity.

Maybe it was the lack of a smile on his face.

Maybe it was the dark circles under his eyes.

Maybe it was the ghost of the shine that was once in his eyes, making them go from an emerald green to an almost jade color.

Yes, those were the effects of whatever had him in such a bitter mood. The question is, what caused it?

What caused Adrien to stop showing of his flawless teeth?

What drove him to have a lack of sleep?

What made him loose the glow in his eyes that he had inherited from his mother?

Well, it was technically a few reasons.

One was the defeat of Hawkmoth,which really left him feeling numb, like Paris didn't need him anymore.

Another was his Lad-

Marinette.

It was Marinette, who rejected him in her alter ego, and was angered when she found out who he was under the mask.

Last, but not least, it was the feeling of loneliness that consumed him. He felt so low, the feeling of uselessness and helplessness coursed through his veins.

It was his fault.

He was shallow enough to fall for Marinette's cleaned up self, and not really take much mind to her as she was without the mask(at least, romanticly).

He let himself become dependent on an akuma attack each week, and the rush of patrolling the city with Ladybug.

He let himself feel the need of human interaction. The need to talk to someone.

He let his demons get the best of him, taking over his thoughts, his actions, his way of being.

Now he was paying the price.

He deserved it.

"Ladies and gentelman, the show will start in 20 minutes!"

Adrien let his hand graze the crisp grass he was sitting on. It was sharp, like it could cut you, but it didn't. It did, however, cause discomfort on the bare leg, blades of bright green grass prickling at it like needles.

He could have cared less. In fact,he paid no mind to it, his thoughts taking him somewhere else.

He slipped his hand into the pockets of his khaki shorts, his thumb fiddling with his smartphone. He also felt his earbuds, almost begging him to use them.

He contemplated the idea of listening to music for a moment. Would he even have enough time?

He looked at the time. 19 minutes before the show started.

He did have time to kill.

He put on his earbuds, making his way to the YouTube app. However, he saw that he had just received a text from Nino.

Surprised to see his ex-best friend text him, he clicked on text, curiosity coming over him. This is what it said:

_Hey man, I know we haven't talked much since you and Mari had that argument. I'm really sorry man. I've been looking at you for a while now, and you're looking pretty down. I know I've been a terrible friend, and I haven't been there for you, but can you please just listen to this playlist I made for you? That's all I want from you. You can ask me to go drop dead, honestly, I don't care. I just want you to be calm and happy, at least for a while._

Adrien really wished he could feel touched by Nino's little letter, but he couldn't really feel much at this point. He clicked on the link of the playlist. Then, he relaxed his unconsciously upright sholders and let the music wash over him.

It was a very pleasing song, actually. Nino did know what he liked, so it made sense.

Adrien was sure the song was going to be instrumental, until, suddenly, a guy started singing.

_It was the fourth of July_  
_You and I were, you and I were fire, fire, fireworks_

Adrien rolled his eyes, his lips curving into a small, almost nonexistent smile. Of course Nino would choose this song.

Despite being dragged away from Adrien by Alya, Nino was still a good friend, even if he was an ex-best friend.

_That went off too soon_  
_And I miss you in the June gloom,too_

He really liked the voice of the lead singer. It was comforting, and soft, almost like it was made out of velvet. What band was this?

He searched them up to find that this band was Fall Out Boy, an infamous boy band that started off around the 2000's. He had remembered hearing a song or two back in France, but they weren't such a big deal in Paris compared to America.

The lead singer was called Patrick Stump, which Adrien found to be a funny name, but nonetheless it rolled of his tongue easily.

He hummed along, not really paying attention to the meaning of the song,just enjoying the silky voice and the electronica-like melody. That is, until he heard a few lyrics that caught his attention.

_You are my favorite 'what if'_  
_You are my best 'I'll never know'_

He couldn't help but turn to look at the brunette he wanted to forget.

He listened on to the playlist, realizing that Nino had formed a playlist describing how he felt about everything at the moment.

Damn Nino, always knows what to do.

Adrien's eyes were welling up with tears, but in all honesty, he felt good.

He kept on listening, forgetting about the fireworks show completely. He just listened on, the tears on the brim of his eyes just waiting to be released into the cold ruthless world.

_Wherever I go there’s a shadow of you_  
_I know I could try looking for something new_  
_But wherever I go, I'll be looking for you_

_Don't wanna call you in the night time_  
_Don't wanna give you all my pieces_  
_Don't wanna hand you all my trouble_  
_Don't wanna give you all my demons_

He kept on listening to the playlist, like his life depended on it, until,suddenly,he heard an outburst of noise. He looked up from the patch of grass he was staring intently at while listening to music to find that the firework show had just begun.

The fireworks exploded beautifully in the sky, the different array of colors and shapes of the exposions covering the once clear navy blue sky, like paint splatters on a blue sheet of paper.

His eyes shinned looking up at the fireworks,seeing a color that had him at ease.

It was a green the exact color of his mother's eyes.

He knew it may have been far fetched and very unlikely,but even so,looking at the remaining little sparks of the green sent a warm feeling through him.

His mother's face was on his mind, no longer able to hold back his tears. At this point, he could have cared less about the hot tears falling from his eyes.

He wondered how his mother would feel, seeing him this sad. His mother always gave him some advice,but there was one that was especially getting his attention nowadays.

He remembered his mother's eyes full of sorrow while looking at him. The last time he saw her.

_"Honey," She started, tears in her eyes." If something or someone makes you happy, you should cherish it or them for the rest of your life. However, if the thing that used to make you smile makes you feel worthless, don't you dare stick around with it or them. It's not worth it, darling."_

He knew that she was basically telling him to run away from the people that give you problems. He knew that running away from your problems was seen as wrong.

But why?

Why was it seen as wrong to get away from something that makes you feel terrible about yourself?

He looked down at his hands.

Is this what he wanted?

To feel trapped?

To be alone?

To never be happy again?

He knew that may have been an exaggeration, but he couldn't help it. He had been feeling this for much too long now, being both physically and emotionally drained.

Adrien stood up, the music giving him the courage and strength he needed at the moment.

He walked away from the park.

Away from his old friends.

Away from his first love.

It didn't matter if he left right now.

No,not at all.

He had just graduated highschool, so the worry of missing school was out.

He had stopped modeling for a while, something about "taking a toll on his mental health", at least, according to the doctor.

He walked down a hill, the fireworks sound getting more quite as he walked on with each step.

Did anyone really need him?

"Adrien! Wait!"

Adrien's earbuds fell off.

He froze up, hearing the voice of the girl who left him starstruck for years.  
He heard her go up to him, grabbing his shoulder to hold him back, as if he was still walking.

"I love you." Marinette said, her voice almost a whisper.

He expected to be overcome with joy.

Maybe be mad at her.

Hell, even being sad would have worked.

But he felt nothing.

Nothing for her.

Nothing for his class.

Nothing.

He wish he could, but he currently could not feel anything but sadness.

"I'm so sorry. I was stupid enough to get mad at you for loving me, to call you shallow,when I was no different. I fell in love with a cleaned up version of yourself."

He almost smiled at that. The two even thought the same. It was like they were made for eachother.

Dang it, why did she have to come along and make him fall for her even more? Why did she have to suddenly make it harder for him to leave?

He had to compose himself.

He turned around to look at her and said "oh."

Marinette blinked, expecting him to say something else, anything else.

Nothing.

"Where are you going?" She asked, changing the subject before she broke down into tears.

Silence stood between them for a minute, and Marinette was about to ask something else, until he finally spoke.

"Somewhere. Anywhere."

"Why?"

"Because I want to leave."

"Why would you want to leave? We're leaving tomorrow. You'll be home soon, you don't have to buy a new plane ticket."

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?"

"I want to leave my mess of a life in Paris."

"But, Adrie-"

"You don't determine where I go. I'm 18, so it's legal for me to leave without permission."

"Adrien, think rationally! Think about your friends! You family!"

"Yeah, my friends who haven't bothered to talk to me ever since you had that one-sided fight with me, not to mention my father who just started caring about me, and my mother,who's been playing hooky since I was 14. So many people to talk to, right?"

"What about Chat Noir!?"

"Please Marinette, you and I know very well that Paris doesn't need Chat Noir. I already gave Master Fu my miraculous, so you'll have the ying to your yang in no time. Besides, you've also got Volpina and Queen Bee,so who more could you ask for? It's not like Hawkmoth is around anymore, so does it really matter?"

"I love you!"

"Do you, Marinette? Funny, cause I told you the exact thing, and you know what you said?"

"I'm s-"

"You said 'I don't feel the same. I have feelings for someone else'. Okay. Fine. Skip to the reveal, you see me, and you get mad? As if I was the one who broke your heart? You had the audacity to tell me off for loving a mask, but Marinette, you too are in love with a mask."

"I already said I was sorry for all of that!"

"Doesn't mean I have to accept your apology!"

Adrien started walking away,seemingly angry,but yet again, Marinette stopped him.

"Do you love me!?" Marinette yelped, regretting the question as it tumbled from her lips.

Adrien sighed, looked up into Marinette's eyes, his jade looking eyes empty from emotion.

"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday. Or the day before, or the day before that. Because each day I pieced together your true image, and  each day I realized that you're not the person I thought you were. Each day I realize that I'm better off without the cuffs of being in love with you."

"Adri-"

"So if you want a straight forward answer, yes, I'm still madly in love with you. Despite the pain it gives me, each time I look at you I can't help but want to give you everything I have. Give you my love, my protection, and my strength. But that also means giving you the bad things. My troubles. My demons. My doubts."

"I can handle it Adrien!" Marinette exclaimed, tears rolling down her eyes.

"I can't. I don't wanna hand you all my troubles. I don't wanna give you all my demons. I don't wanna doubt you."

"I don't care!"

"I've been feeling numb for 2 months now. No emotions. This is actually one of the first times these months that my emotions have popped up. I want to stop taking anti-depressants. I want to be happy again, and I'm sorry, but the only way I can feel happy is to find something new. I want to live here in America. I want to leave my old life in Paris."

Silence stood between the two for a minute or two, before Marinette broke it.

"Adrien..."

"I'm so sorry Marinette." Adrien said, looking down on the floor, ashamed of leaving Marinette like this.

"Go."

"What?" Adrien asked, surprised to hear Marinette encourage him to leave.

"Go. Live your life. Be happy. Leave this life behind and have a fresh start. Do what's best for you."

Adrien's eyes widened, his eyes slightly brightening up.

Marinette accepted it.

She accepted him leaving.

He pulled her into a hug, his arms on her upper back. She returned the hug, crying on his left shoulder.

He pulled away slightly, looked into her eyes, and leaned in, kissing her on the cheek.

"I wish I'd known how much you loved me." He said, walking away from Marinette slowly.

She didn't say goodbye. She just had a smile on her face, bittetsweet tears falling from her eyes.

And Adrien walked away. From the love of his life. From his family. From his friends.

But he didn't care.

He was happy now, and that was all that mattered. He had closure. He had freedom.

He put on his earbuds, the music putting him in an even better mood.

He didn't know where he was going, but he knew that America had a lot in store for him.

He was ready for it.

And so he walked along, moving his head to the beat of the music

_I am on the run and go._


End file.
